Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
