does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
