are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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