Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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