There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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