so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
