So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
