I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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