her vagine was all disorganized.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
