I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
