This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
