Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I did not marry a roomba.
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