I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
