Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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