did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
