apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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