Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
