WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
