I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
