So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
