I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
