I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
