Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
