while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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