I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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