I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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