I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Pooping to opera.
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