it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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