You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize