i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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