It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
