I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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