I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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