we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
