She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
