dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
