The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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