D3 body, D1 cock
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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