so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
