it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
