I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
