I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just want nice things and good sex
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
