mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
