Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize