Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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