You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
