Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize