she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
