youre lurking in front of me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
