i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize