it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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