you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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