Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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