have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
