...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
