She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
