You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
