My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
