I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
