I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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