She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The air taste purple.
Randomize