My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize