: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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